Avoid Fireworks with these Top Tips for Getting On with your Housemates
November 30, 2016 |
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Get to Know Your Housemates
If you make the effort to build relationships with your housemates you are likely to have fewer issues than if you donâ€™t bother. You donâ€™t need to be best friends with your housemates, but the better you know each other the easier it is to deal with problems. Understanding their personality and preferences can help prevent conflicts and misunderstandings.
Take the time to understand what is important to each of your housemateâ€™s such as family, hobbies, academic interests, religious beliefs, etc. This will help you to establish common ground whilst helping you to avoid upsetting them with inappropriate conversation or actions.
When living in shared student accommodation it is important that you treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself. This may sound simple, but it requires effort, especially when you feel youâ€™re not being respected. Always be considerate to your housemateâ€™s feelings and opinions even if you do not necessarily agree with them. This will help to establish a foundation of respect.
Here are a few of our top tips:
Always ask if you want to borrow something.
Always knock on a closed door before you enter a housemateâ€™s room.
Give people privacy when theyâ€™re on the phone as the conversation may be private.
Allow your housemateâ€™s some time on their own as everyone needs a little quiet time.
Understand that people are different and you donâ€™t have to be the same to get on.
A lack of communication is the biggest culprit when it comes to student house conflicts. Be honest with your housemateâ€™s if there is a problem, as ignoring it is only likely to make things worse. Approach them in a respectful manner and talk face to face rather than communicating through notes, text messages and emails. Avoid apportioning blame, name-calling, and swearing as this will only make matters worse. Keep your tone calm and polite and address issues in private rather than in front of others.
You donâ€™t have to have everything in common to get along. In fact, living with someone who has different opinions, experiences, and perspectives can be a lot more fun. You can learn a lot from your housemates and your housemates can learn a lot from you. Try to value each otherâ€™s uniqueness and differences.
Remember that it is only natural to be anxious and concerned about living with someone you have not previously met or do not know very well. Your housemates may be experiencing the same issues and concerns that you are so talk to each other about what is important to you.
Be Flexible and Prepared to Compromise
Itâ€™s unlikely that you are perfect and neither are your housemates. Decide what is worth having a conflict over and what is not. Compromise is part and parcel of living with other people and a true test of putting the common good above your own. Sometimes youâ€™ll realise that making your flatmates happy may be more important than your individual wishes, especially if differences arise about something really petty. Remember â€“ it works both ways â€“ theyâ€™ll be making compromises for you too.
Your housemates canâ€™t read your mind so donâ€™t assume everyone is on the same page. If you have an expectation, share it with your housemates and explain why you feel that way. Ask them if they are comfortable with your expectations and if not, find a way to compromise or an alternate solution. For example, you may want your housemates to let you know in advance before they invite guests to stay. Let them know what your expectations are and why. Try to be specific without appearing bossy or unreasonable.
Again, your housemates canâ€™t read your mind. Let them know your boundaries and politely tell your housemates when those boundaries have been crossed. Let your housemates know what annoys you, pet hates and other information you feel they should know.
Togetherness is great, but too much of a good thing, sometimes thatâ€™s not so great. You and your housemates should talk about the time you need alone or with others.
Be Responsible and Accept Responsibility
You are ultimately responsible for yourself and your actions. Take ownership of your mistakes and make every effort to correct the problem.
If there is a problem with your housemates, address the issue within three days. If you have not addressed the issue within three days, then let it go. At this point, you have decided that the issue wasnâ€™t that important to bring up.
If youâ€™re having trouble dealing with a situation amongst yourselves then you could seek external help from your university. Your student union will be happy to offer advice, guidance and support should it be required.
Alternatively, speak to your Property Consultant at Let Leeds. We may be able to offer you some advice.